This is one of those posts that could be categorized as too much information or why on earth is this woman telling us this. A number of you have known me for a long time now (some of you all my life) and I want to share with you a very personal journey that I am presently on. I am sharing it because I need to talk about it openly. I am also hoping that this will help me move on.


In June of this past year I had my annual examination done. Yes ladies, you know what I am talking about. The results came back that I had some abnormal cells on my pap. I wanted more testing, the next test, whatever it was they needed to do, I wanted it done. Unfortunately at that point it was a wait and see issue. They didn’t have the specialist in Iqaluit and that person wasn’t due until October. And even when they did arrive in October I wouldn’t be at the top of the list because this was only my first test and while the results were abnormal, they were low grade abnormal. The only thing to do was wait for 6 months and have another pap.

So life carried on as best it could. Always a tiny cloud hanging over my head from the day I received the results.

This fall I managed to get in to see a doctor in Calgary and showed him the results of the last test and asked for the next one. He did the second pap and called almost the next day with the results. The cells had gone from low grade abnormalities to high grade and I needed to have a coloscopy right away. The news arrived the Friday before I was scheduled to move to Edmonton to start my new job.

I arrive in Edmonton and manage to get a family doctor almost right away and get a referral. I was a basket of nerves the day of the appointment and am still not sure what I did in the morning before my appointment or how I managed to drive myself around town that day. I got into the doctor’s office, assumed the position and then he said, “You need a coloscopy.” Yes, that’s why I’m here. “I don’t do those.”

It was one of those moments of incredible vulnerability. Here I am lying on a table naked except for the paper gown covering me, my feet are in the stirrups and at once I feel very alone in the world. “Not to worry, I’ll get you a referral to the right place.” He was very nice about everything and actually explained the test to me and what would happen. And then he did another pap….cause I was already in position.


Finally..the coloscopy. Wednesday of last week I headed into the clinic for my test. The nurses are/were terrific. They explain everything very slow and clear and make you as comfortable as you can be under the circumstances. I nervously joked my way through all the preliminary stuff and held a deafening silence once the doctor was in the room. He performed the test, took a sample for a bioposy and told me to book an appointment with the nurse out front for a loop excision.

They said it would only be a pinch and would be over after a few minutes. It wasn’t. I was sore for the rest of the day and am still sore and now need to go see the regular dr to see if I picked up an infection from the biopsy.

Thursday of this week past was results day. I called the clinic and she said the biopsy and the pap they did have confirmed--high grade cells--precancerous.

So the good news is that they are as of yet precancerous and in March they will burn them all (hopefully) out/off of my cervix. It sounds like a disgusting procedure and if anyone has personally had a LEEP done and would be willing to share, please email me at northofnain@hotmail.com I'd like some first hand information on it.

I know I am supposed to be jumping for joy or feeling a sense of relief. More than likely we have caught everything in time. It is a very slow growing disease (cancer of the cervix) and normally women who skip paps will find out they have it where as patients like me who go annually normally catch things in time. But it is just taking me some time to settle into the results and prepare myself for the upcoming procedure.

That is my journey so far. I have read a ton of web sites on all of this, talked to a number of people and sat in silence in my home many a night thinking about what might come. Each person handles these things differently. A few people have offered up websites and tips and advice from when they had the experience. Much appreciated.

For those that are just finding out, I’m not looking for words of sympathy or condolences or anything like that. It helps to see it in writing. Please do not leave messages of sympathy...I'm not dead or dying...but I needed to share.